Die and then Love
by greywings2
Summary: Discontinued. It didn't have a chance anyway.
1. Chapter 1

(a/n: hello this is my first story so be nice! And with that said on with the disclaimer!)

disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, but I DO own Joel (main character besides Hisoka) and no one can have him! stabs people trying to steal Joel

_Die and then Love_

The raindrops slowly came down on the people of Tokyo, soaking anyone who dared to come outside in this weather. A pair of beautiful violet eyes stared up at the sky, wonder and pain could be seen clearly in his eyes. The young teen brushed his silver/white hair back and sighed.

Suddenly a cry could be heard from the entrance of a hotel building, which he was standing next to. He turned his head to look at the source of the noise. It was a young boy, five or maybe six, he was crying and grabbing on to his mother's leg. "Mo-mommy, I don't like the rain, it scares me!" the young boy yelled. The mother came down to meet the child in the eyes and smiled a warm smile. "The rain makes things grow sweetie, it makes things beautiful." The boy slowed down his cries and smile slightly.

The young teen smiled, turned around and started walking. Memories were flooding back to him, good and bad. The very things that had ruined his life. Memories.

_/Flashback/_

_The teen was happily sitting in a chair, eating an apple, when he heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it!" yelled his foster mother. Oh yeah, he didn't know his real parents. Actually he couldn't remember anything from when he was six years old, that's when everything changed._

_/Flashback in a Flashback/_

_He was running fast, panting and sweaty. He couldn't remember why he was running, but he was. He then stopped to rest and catch his breath. He leaned against a tree and sighed, he was so thirsty. Suddenly he felt a liquid on the tree he was leaning on. Turning around he looked at the tree and saw a red liquid. At least he thought it was red, it was dark so he couldn't tell, but he didn't care._

_He slowly stared to lick the red liquid just thankful that it wasn't poison. It tasted bitter yet sweet, with a slight sour taste. But then he stopped, he suddenly became cold and weak. Falling to the ground he gripped his chest tightly, it felt as if he was dying, maybe he was. He suddenly screamed out in pain as the red liquid entered his body and veins. _

_He was in so much pain that he didn't notice that he was changing on the outside as well. His short brown hair started to get light and grow longer. His eyes turned from a sea green to a beautiful violet. And his usual tan skin became almost as white as snow. _

_Now he had silver/white hair, stunning violet eyes, and pale white skin. The child fell to the ground and started to close his eyes. When he would wake up the only thing he would remember was his name, Joel. _

_ /back to first flashback/_

_ Now, Joel lived with his foster mother, Hana. He had been to many many foster homes, but Hana was the only person that cared for him, that loved him. "Joel, the people from the foster care company are here to see you." said Hana as she lead two men into the room. _

_One of the men looked at Joel and sighed. "Joel, since Hana is single and is working on her own the foster care company wants you in a different foster home, startin monday." Joel looked as if he were about to faint, he couldn't leave, he knew that any other home would hurt him. But still all he could say was "alright."_

_ /later that night/_

_Joel quietly opened the window from his room and took one last look and it before he left. He was going to run away, he had left Hana a note telling her not to worry and not to come looking for him. He sighed, then jumped down and headed to Tokyo._

/end flashback/

It had been two months since that day. Joel now lived in an apartment and worked a a bookstore across the street. He was only sixteen, but he knew what to do. He started walking down the street and suddenly stoppped when he saw something, no someone. It was a man, he had the same purple eyes and him! He had brown hair and was wearing all black. Beside him was another guy who looked about sixteen or seventeen, he was wearing blue jeans and a blue jean jacket with a orange shirt.

Joel started to walk towards the men but stopped whenhe felt a sharp pain in his heart. He fell to the ground and started to scream. It was just like last time, but worse. He had stopped screaming but he was still in pain. He saw people around him, a scared look in their eyes. But there was one face that made him want to cry. Right next to him, holding his hand, was Hana, she had tears in her eyes. Joel gathered all his strength to tell Hana one last thing, the one thing that Hana had wanted to hear for so long. "I love you, Mom." And with that he closed his eyes and slowly drifted away. But not before he heard "I love you too, son."

When Joel opened his eyes he had to close them tightly because it was so bright. But he quickly opened them again, because right there watching him was the two men. "Are you feeling alright, Joel?" said the brown haired one. Joel slowly nodded his head. "Um, not to be rude, but where and I and who are you?" Joel asked. The brown haired one smile. "You are in the Judgment Bureau, this is where...(A/N: i'm not going to explain it because u already know!) And I'm Tsuzuki, and this is my partner Hisoka. The reason you are here is because when you were five you drank the blood of Me, Hisoka, and Muraki a dangerous killer. By drinking it you gained Hisoka's way of reading people's thoughts, my voilet eyes and healing fast, as well as Muraki's silver/white hair and pale skin. Also since Hisoka died at age sixteen so did you. You are now a Shinigami, welcome to the crew!" Tsuzuki smiled a big smile, Hisoka just stayed emotionless.

Suddenly Hisoka came closer to Joel and touched his hand. "Just as I thought, I can't feel your emotions or read your mind, and you can't read mine as well." Joel nodded. It was right he couldn't read his mind. Hisoka suddenly came down and kissed Joel on the cheek, Joel gasped and blushed. "Yes, welcome to the crew."

Tsuzuki smile at this, if you think about it it wasn't THAT much of a surprise. Hisoka can't touch anyone, but he COULD touch Joel, so Hisoka didn't want to miss his chance, even if he WAS coming on a little strong.

well that's it for now! please review and tell me what you think! i will try to get the next one out soon, bu ti'm not making any promises! well see ya then!


	2. Chapter 2

(a/n: hello this is my first story so be nice! And with that said on with the disclaimer!)

disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, but I DO own Joel (main character besides Hisoka) and no one can have him/stabs people trying to steal Joel/

me: hello, and welcome to chapter two!okay heres the deal, not one person hasreviewed the first chapter! if not even one person reviews this chapter then i will NOT continue it! so please review it! and now on with the story!

_Die and then Love:chapter two_

Joel slowly put a hand to his cheek, thiswas so...unexpected! Tsuzuki, not liking the silence, got up from his chair and went over to Joel. "We needto get going, the cheif needs to meet you." Joel just nodded and got out of the bed.

in the hallway

Joel couldn't help but feel Hisoka's eyes on him. It was starting tomake him feel uncomfertable(sp?). Looking at Hisoka he just smiled and turnedback to look at the ground. This was so weird. Joel had never really been likedin this way before. Hana always said that he was cute and that anyone would want him, but just like any teenager he didn't believe her, and still didn't. Tsuzuki suddenly stopped at a large brown door and turned to smile and Joel. "Let's go,don't worry nothing bad will happen." Joeljust smiled in return and followed them in.

Insidewas a large table witheight seats, five of them were already being used bysome people. One had long blonde hair and orange eyes, he seemed to be working onsome sort of metal object.Another had short brown hair and blueeyes covered by his glasses. Then there was an old man, he looked like he hadn't smiled since...no wait he looked like he had never smiled. Last but not least there were to bird like creatures, one was wearing blue while the other was wearing red.

"Please have a seat you three." said the old man. Joel took a seat next to the bird like things, Hisoka sat next to Joel while Tsuzuki sat next to the blue eyed man. "Well, i guess we should start with out names first. I'm Chief Konoe, I guess you could say I'm your new boss." The blonde haired guy suddenly looked up at Joel and smiled. "I'm Yutaka Watari, but you can just call me Watari! Nice to meet you, i work in the Kinki Sector, but I really want to work on my sex change posion!" Joel just smiled sheepishly, making it a mental note to stay away from him when possible. The blue eyed one suddenly coughed and looked up to face Joel. "My name is Seiichiro Tatsumi, but you may call me Tatsumi. I work as cheif Konoe's secretary." Joel smiled, at least this one seemed normal. next were the bird like things, they floated up to Joel and said at the same time "we are the Gushoshin brothers, don't wreck our library!" Joel just looked at them then laughed. "Don't worry I'd never do a horrible thing like that, I love books!" The Gushoshin brothers blinked a few times then grabbed Joel with anime tears of joy. "Finally some else who loves books!" they both said. Joel just stood still, each Gushishin had one of his arms and it was hard to move.

Cheif Konoe coughed into his hand which made everone look up at him. "Well now that that's over I can tell you your job. You will be parnered with Tsuzuki and Hisoka. Now as for where you will live, Hisoka has room for you in his house so I'm sure you can share." Joel blushed a little and slowly looked up to Hisoka, he just smiled and turned to the chief, waiting for him to continue. "Now, be here tomarrow at 8:00 sharp, no excuses Tsuzuki!" He glared at Tsuzuki, only to get a puppy dog face in return. "I'm sorry chief!" Tsuzuki yelled as tears came to his eyes. Joel had a feeling that this happened often.

(a/n: well that's it for now! please reveiw if you want to see more! and i promise it get better! )


	3. Chapter 3

(a/n: hello this is my first story so be nice! And with that said on with the disclaimer!)

disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, but I DO own Joel (main character besides Hisoka) and no one can have him/stabs people trying to steal Joel

couples: Joel x Hisoka, Joel x a little bit of everyone, Tsuzuki x Tatsumi, and Tsuzuki x Muraki

_ Die and then Love_

After a long (and pretty funny) yelling contest with the Cheif and Tsuzuki, Hisoka stood up from his chair and said, "Why don't we go to the library, Joel? You said you wanted to see it, correct?" Joel looked up and nodded, "U-Um yeah, let's go." With that they got out of the office and walked down the hall. Joel, trying to make a conversation, asked, "So um, how long have you been doing this job?" Hisoka just plainly answer, "about 11 years." (a/n: i know thats wrong but in MY story its been that long!)Then Hisoka turnned around, "But now that you're here I think it'll be much more interesting." Joel blushed a shade of red and put his head down, "You-you think so?"

But before Hisoka could reply they heard something like a fangirl yelling with joy. Suddenly two blurs grabbed Joel which cause them to fall to the floor. Hisoka watched in horror as Yuma and Saya pawed Joel like he was some kind of doll. "Ooooooooooooooh, he's so cute!" said Saya. "I know! He's hairs feels like silt! The color is just amazing!" "And his skin is so soft and white, like a baby's!" "But one of the best things is is that his eyes are just beautiful, even better than Tsuzuki's!" Joel couldn't move, even if he had tried he would have failed.

"Ex-excuse me ladies, but I could you please get off of me." Joel said in a nice voice. "Ooooooooooooh, he's so polite too!" said Yuma. They started to love on him even more. Hisoka could not take this much longer. There they were touching HIS Joel! "Get off of him you insane fangirls! (a/n: hey thats not nice Hisoka! I'm a fangirl too!)" Yuma and Saya turnned around and smiled even more. "Oh, sorry Hisoka, but we just couldn't help ourselves, we didn't mean to steal your cute boyfriend here!" 'Boyfriend!' Joel thought in his screaming mind. "Well you should be sorry, not get off of him!" Yuma and Saya quickly got off of Joel and ran away screaming out something that sounded like 'our own personal yaoi couple!' (a/n: shout out loud girls, you're living every fangirl's dream!)

Joel slowly got up of the floor and smiled slightly, "So um ready to go to the library?" Hisoka only nodded and smiled. And they headed off to the library.

/in the library/

Joel was amazed by the size of the library, it was huge! Everywhere he look was covered in books! He felt as if he had died and gone to heaven, well half of that was right anyway. Joel looked at the first row of books and gasped, they had it! 'Interview with the Vampire', he had wanted to read this book for a long time but it had always been sold out. "So you found a book huh?" Joel gasped as he felt Hisoka's arms wrap around his small waist. "We don't we take it home? I'm sure you want to look at your new room." Hisoka whispered in his ear. Joel blushed slightly and stuttered, "S-sure, l-let's go home." And with that Hisoka slowly left Joel's waist and gestered for him to follow him home.

/At Hisoka's/now somewhat Joel's house/

The house was actually really nice. It had a nice sized kitchen, a homey looking living room with one couch and a chair, one bedroom which he hadn't seen just yet, and a bathroom with a toilet, shower, and bathtub. Hisoka stopped at the last door and turnned around, "This is our room." And with that said he opened the door and let Joel step inside. It was pretty plain. Hisoka's bed had dark blue cover and a lamp and alarmclock on a small shelf next to the side of the bed. On the opposite side of the room was another bed with the same color covers, it also had a shelf with a lamp on it. "Sorry, it's not much." Hisoka said as he entered the room. "No, I like. It's not like we'll be spending to much time here anyway right?" Joel said as he smiled. Hisoka just stared at Joel. "Um, Hisoka? What is it?" Joel said as he started to back up as Hisoka moved forward.

Joel suddenly fell on the bed and looked up at Hisoka with confusion. Hisoka suddenly go ton top of Joel and brushed his lips against his. Then he fully kissed Joel put his hand under Joel's head so he could get more of him. Joel couldn't help but moan into the kiss as Hisoka licked his lips, asking for entrance. Joel didn't know what he was doing but he let Hisoka have him. He felt Hisoka's tounge explore his mouth, stealing his breath and warmth. It felt so-so right, so good. Hisoka parted with Joel's lips to look Joel straight in the eyes. "Do you want me to go father?" He asked. Joel thought about it then slowly shook his head, "I'm sorry but I'm not ready to do THAT just yet." Hisoka nodded in understanding and got off of Joel. "Do you like rice, it's the only thing I can really make." Hisoka asked. Joel slowly nodded and Hisoka went out of the room.

Joel had a feeling that this was small compared to the rest of the things he would do whilt he was here!

(a/n: well that's it for now! please review! it keeps me going! I want at least one review for each chapter or more! that is the only way i'll continue the story! and don't worry it gets better! )


	4. Chapter 4

(a/n: hello this is my first story so be nice! And with that said on with the disclaimer!)

disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, but I DO own Joel (main character besides Hisoka) and no one can have him! stabs people trying to steal Joel

couples: Joel x Hisoka, Joel x a little bit of everyone, Tsuzuki x Tatsumi, Tsuzuki x Muraki

_Die and then Love_

Joel walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, where Hisoka was making rice for dinner. Joel saw Hisoka sitting at the table and reading a book, he was waiting for the rice to cook. Pulling up a chair, Joel sat down and grabbed his book, reading also.

"Hisoka, did you see a woman holding my hand as I died?" Joel suddenly asked.

Hisoka looked up at Joel and saw that he was serious, "Yes, we did."

"What happened after I died?"

A sad look came on Hisoka's face, he sighed, "Well you see...

_/ flashback /_

_The woman started to cry even more and held Joel in her arms. "Joel please, please don't leave me!" the woman yelled._

_ She put her head in Joel's soft hair and cried even more. As the rain came down harder it mixed with her tears, until you couldn't tell what was rain and what was tears anymore._

_ Tsuzuki slowly walked torwards the woman and touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry ma'am, you need to take Joel's body to a better place." _

_The woman started shaking her head wildly, "No, no I won't let you take my son away! he's not dead, he can't! No, not my Joel, not my son!" _

_Hisoka suddenly came behind the woman and slowly took her away from Joel's body. Tsuzuki carefully took Joel's body in his arms and they slowly walked to the hospital. _

_ /at the hospital/_

_ A doctor that looked about in his 40s came into the waiting room and sighed, "Joel died of a heart attack, he's body was put through alot of pain, as if someone were touchering him. Other than that, I'm afraid I don't know what caused his death." _

_ Hisoka knew. He knew that because of his blood Joel was forced to feel the same pain as he had, but it was even worse because it killed him in a matter of minutes. _

_ Hana didn't speak, she didn't want or need to. The doctor got the hint and left them alone. _

_ A few minutes went by before Hana stood up, "I know you two aren't human, I can't feel any human energy surrounding you. What do you want with Joel?"_

_ Tsuzuki sighed, "He is to become what we are. He will be dead yet walking and will stay with us. This is not something we can control, if it were we'd let him go to heaven."_

_ Hana nodded her head as if she understood, but she didn't. Tsuzuki was about to explain more but Hana held up her hand to stop him. "I don't want to know anymore, just promise me that you'll take good care of Joel." _

_ Tsuzuki slowly nodded, "You need to have a funiral for Joel."_

_Hana nodded her head, "There are going to be a lot of red roses, those were...are his favorite flowers." _

_ Hisoka mentally thought, 'probably got that from Muraki's blood.'_

_ And with that they started to leave, but not before they heard Hana call to them. "Wait!" _

_They turned around and looked at Hana, "Please, if Joel is able to, I want Joel to come to the funiral, even if I can't see him." Tsuzuki starred at the woman for a while, she really loved Joel. He slowly nodded and they walked away._

_ /end flashback/_

Joel starred at Hisoka for a long time after hearing this. So Hana had been there after all, he hadn't made it up in his mind! Joel smiled alittle at this thought. Hana really really loved him, and still did.

"Can I go, to the funiral I mean?" He asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

It was silent for a while before Hisoka finally said, "yes."

Joel smiled. Then he slowly got up and started cooking the rice. Before Hisoka could get up or even ask what he was doing Joel answer, "You gave me the answers I needed, so I'll cook tonight, and I don't take no for an answer!" Joel looked back at Hisoka and smiled.

"And to celebrate my coming here we're going to get ice cream after this, my treat!" Joel said with sparkling eyes.

'He definatly got that from Tsuzuki.' Hisoka thought as he smiled and watched Joel cook the food.

(a/n: well that's all for now, please review to make me go faster!)


	5. Chapter 5

me: well sorry i haven't updated this stroy in a while, i've been busy with my other story, please review people! the reason i haven't updated in a while is because no one reviews!!! so please review!!!!

disclaimer: i don't own Yami no Matsuei, i only own my character Joel!

now on with the story!!!

**Die and then Love: chapter 5**

The soft sound of the bell clanged as Hisoka and Joel stepped inside the ice cream shop. As soon as they had entered the building Joel went straight to the front desk and smiled and the young lady behind the counter.

"Hi there Yukiko, how's it goin?"

"Boring as usual, I swear nobody wants the classic ice cream anymore! It's always cottencandy, or cheesecake, or wedding cake, weird flavors like that!"

"Well how about this, I'll have one scoop of vanilla! And what about you Hisoka?"

Joel turned to look at Hisoka with a smile on his face. _God he's beautiful whenn he smiles.._Hisoka thought before slowly answering, "Strawberry."

"Okay then. One starwberry and one vanilla please Yukiko!"

"Coming right up!"

Yukiko disappeared into the kitchen and Joel and Hisoke were left alone. After a few seconds of silence Joel finally broke the ice.

"Is something wrong Hisoka?"

"Hm? Uh...no."

"You hesitated.."

"I'm just not feeling well."

"What's wrong?"

"Yukiko's bubbly emotions are killing me!"

"..."

It was silent for a while, before Joel started to laugh somewhat loudly. "Hahahahahah, well I guess her emotions CAN get alittle out of control, but you just learn to deal with it after a while. I should know, I've put up with her for years!"

Hisoka was alittle surprised be this, he thought Joel had moved around alot. "I thought you moved around alot."

"I did, but it was always close to this town, so I would travel alot just to come here!"

"It sounds like you like her alot."

Hisoka covered his mouth quickly, had he just said that out loud?! Joel looked at Hisoka with wide innocent purple eyes. Then he quickly smiled.

"I do, but not in that way, she's like a sister to me, she was abandoned too when she was little."

Hisoka looked at Joel and saw his eyes starring out in to space, a painful look in his eyes.

"Her mother didn't want her, and she was moved around just like me. But now she's found a home, and I'm very happy for her."

"Joel.."

Yukiko suddenly came back, holding two ice cream cones with a smile on her face. "Here ya go boys!" Joel took the ice cream and gave them tto Hisoka so he could get out his walet.

"Oh no ya don't mister! This one is on the house for classic lovers!"

"Yukiko you don't have to-"

But Yukiko put up her hand to silence him, "No buts!" She smiled and laughed lightly, "Anything for a fellow brother!"

Joel smiled and nodded his head, "Thank you."

Hisoka and Joel turned to leave, but not before Yukiko yelled, "But I would like to see your boyfriend kiss you as payment!"

Joel fell down in shock.

Hisoka started to think about the chioces of kisses in his head.

"Are you insane Yukiko!?"

"Nope, just yaoi desperate!"

"There is no way Hisoka is going to-"

But Hioska's hand pulling his chin towards him stopped him form continueing. "Hisoka-"

Hisoka planted his mouth on Joel's with a light kiss. Time seemed to freeze and the kiss was deepened and Joel's cheeks became a light pink. Hisoka licked Joel's lips, asking for entrance, Which Joel slowly allowed. The kiss was shared and their fingerd intwined(sp?) together, making the moment all the more sweet.

Suddenly the kiss ended and Hisoka grabbed Joel, while saying to Yukiko "That's all you get."

"What?! No fair, it was just getting good!"

But the couple had already walked out the door, licking their ice cream as they went.

And Hisoka started to think of new excuse to come there more often.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

me: well that's it! please review for my hard work!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

me: heh...well I haven't updated this story in a looooong time, now have I? Um, I guess I'll just get right to the point then and start the chapter. Oh, but if you have any questions then review and ask them, I'll answer them in the next chapter!

Hisoka/sighs/ I hate my job...greywings2 doesn't own any of the characters except Joel, Hana, and Yukiko.

me: right! I WISH I could own Hisoka and Tsuzuki, but I don't. I was lazy and forgot to buy them...not that I could since I don't have any money at the moment. XD

Hisoka:...you're insane.

Joel: Well, I guess I'll give you the warnings then. Yaoi, language, OCness, and maybe some violence. Oh and drama, lots of drama. Please turn back if you don't like yaoi.

me: although why would you be in the Yami no Matsuei section if you hated yaoi, that is the question! So stop bugging me about how yaoi is wrong, get over it!!! oh, and I know my spelling sucks, but deal with it.

Joel/sighs/ please review, it makes her write faster...

couples: Hisoka x Joel, Tatsumi x Tsuzuki, Muraki x Tsuzuki

me: btw peoples, it's FANfiction!!! so it can be as crazy as i want it to be cause i'm a FAN and this is FICTION! don't say anything like 'they would never do that' or 'this could never happen'. Because do you really think it's possible for a human to become a shinigami and summon gaint white tigers!!!??? no, i didn't think so. So get off my ass about it not beign realistic and if you don't like it you don't have to read it!!!!!!!!

Die and then Love: Chapter 6

The silver haired teen sighed into his pillow, glad at how soft it was. The whole scene at the ice cream palor had been...shocking to say the least. He never really expected Hisoka to do something like that, but then again he never expected to become a Gurdian of Death either. Everything was happening way to fast, and Joel didn't know if he could keep up.

After they had gotten back, Hisoka said that they should get to bed since they had to get up early tomorrow. Joel had agreed of course and went to the room Hisoka and him shared. Now it was 3 in the morning and Joel still couldn't get to sleep. He kept thinking about tomorrow, wondering what his job would be like, and if he could really do it. Taking someone's life was something Joel never wished to do, but now it was his freaking job! Sighing again, Joel turned on his side that faced the wall.

'I guess I'll just have to deal with it...' After the thought had passed Joel's mind, he finally began to drift off.

_in Joel's dream_

_"Yes sir, it's been completely confirmed. Joel Yakiba is dead."_

_Joel didn't know what was going on. He was suddenly in a large house, maybe even a mansion, and he was now facing the back of a tall man. The man had a whie trench coat on and his hair was silver. It was funny actually, the man looked so pure but for some reason Joel knew it was just the opposite._

_The man in white was holding a cellphone to his ear, though Joel couldn't see the expression on his face. But what the person on the other line said had bothered him most of all. Why were they talking about him? He didn't even know them! _

_Suddenly the man spoke, his voice rich and deep. "Thank you Takaku, you're information is very helpful. Find when the funeral is and tell me as soon as you find out. I want to be there myself." Joel's eyes grew wide at the mention of his funeral, and he stepped back slightly._

_The man then put down the phone and turned around...looking straight at Joel. Joel tensed as he saw the man smile, though that smile was anything but friendly. "Well, you came sooner than I expected, Joel." The boy backed up a bit, scared. How could this man see him? Tsuzuki told him that they were invisible to the human eye!_

_Not liking how he seemed to be the prey, Joel stood up straight and didn't back down. "Who are you? Where am I?" The man just smirked, obviously liking the fact that he knew something that Joel didn't. "You are at my house. How you got here I'm not sure, but that doesn't matter. As for who I am," The man suddenly came closer to Joel and in the next second he was less that 10 inches away from him._

_"You will find that out soon enough." With that said the man suddenly touched Joel on the forehead with one finger. That simple action made Joel's mind become blurry and he could feel himself beginning to blackout. 'That's funny, I thought I was already asleep.' With that last thought Joel fell into the man's awaiting arms. The man smiled at the sleeping boy, "To you can't really be here, you'll wake up any minute."_

_end dream_

Joel gasped and practically jumped out of his bed, which caused him to land on the floor, not so gracefully I might add. As soon as Joel met the cold floor he sighed in relief, 'It was just a dream...thank God.' The noise, though, was enough to wake Hisoka, who was now standing above Joel, a small worried look on his face. Hisoka kneeled down in front of Joel, helping him up. "Joel, are you okay?" The boy simply nodded and smiled nervously. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a bad dream is all."

Hisoka didn't look convinced, but Joel didn't give him time to argue. "Wow, look at the time, 5 o'clock already? We should get dress and be leaving soon, shouldn't we?" Noticing the suddenly change in subject but not saying anything, Hisoka nodded and started to head out of the bedroom. "I'll go make us a quick breakfast, you can get dressed first." "Um, thank you." Joel smiled as Hisoka left, and once he was sure he was gone sighed in relief.

'That was close. I really don't want Hisoka to worry about me, I don't want anyone to worry about me actually. To burden them with my problems is just cruel.'

Joel nodded to himself and quickly found his closes that were in a small desk. He actually didn't have very much to wear but Joel didn't mind, it was enough for him. In a matter of seconds Joel was fully dressed. A pair of blue jeans and a simple long sleeved black shirt.

Hana had insisted that Joel's color was black. She said it brought out the color of his hair, skin, and eyes, and she wasn't going to let him wear anything else. 'I guess after wearing it for so long it's hard to choose any other color.' Joel laughed to himself and quickly put on his last shoe before going into the kitchen.

When he entered he spotted Hisoka who was cooking instant eggs in the microwave. As Joel came in Hisoka quickly took the food out and went over to the same bar in the kitchen. "I don't think we have time to make real eggs, so I hope this will be okay." "It's fine."

For a while they both sat in silence and Joel started to shift in his chair. 'Is Hisoka mad at me? Did I do something wrong?' After Hisoka was half way done with his meal Joel suddenly spoke up. "Um, Hisoka, when is the funeral anyway?" Hisoka looked up at the ceiling trying to remember. "Actually, I think it's tomorrow."

Joel suddenly laughed and it startled Hisoka slightly. "Mom always like things to go fast, no matter what it was." The silver haired boy them looked back at his eggs, though he wasn't eating them anymore. "Joel, I've been meaning to ask you something. Shinigami are placed here because we regreted something in our life or we happened fulfilled something. What is your reason for staying?"

Still looking at his half eaten food, Joel slowly answered. "Because I...I wanted to know who I was. Before I died I hadn't known I that I looked different or the reason why I couldn't remember anything. But I always knew that I had had another life before. I wanted to know who had been my real parents and why they had left me. Now I know that they may not have left me, but I'd still like to know about them. I just...want to know who I was."

It was silent after that, and neither made any move to speak. Hisoka was about to say something when Joel interupted him. "We should get going." Hisoka, finally looking at the clock, nodded his head and grabbed the plates.

In a matter of minutes both boys were out of the house and were on their way to their jobs, being Gurdians of death.

me: well that might have been short but i think it was good! i'll be updating alot more now, and again sorry it took so long!!!

Joel and Hisoka: PLEASE REVIEW!


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